Forviging the Unforgiveable

How can we forgive the unforgiveable? The offense may be a decades old injury, or it may be yesterday’s insult. It may be life threatening or an unkind word. When someone slows us down on the highways, a common response is not forgiveness but road rage. Air Rage is the new term used to describe disgruntled passengers who are growing increasingly upset with the airline industry. Thus, they take their frustrations out on airline personnel.

This past week I met a woman who had been the victim of an abusive relationship. When she showed me some pictures of her last hospital visit I was amazed. She was so badly beaten that I would not have recognized her as the woman standing before me. As we talked about how she overcame that painful experience, I asked her if she had been able to forgive the man who had done this to her. Without hesitation she responded that she had been able to do that, and her countenance reflected the peace she had found. And as a result she started a ministry to provide shelter for other women in similar circumstances.

At the other extreme, as I write this, news reports are coming in telling us that a man was killed in a fight over a parking space. Isn’t it amazing that some people are able to forgive the worst in offenses and move on, while others consider losing a parking spot unforgivable? You see, it’s not the seriousness of the offense that makes it unforgiveable, it’s the attitude of the one offended.

I’m speaking to Christians today, not because we are less forgiving than others, but because this is an issue that requires God’s help. He not only commands us to forgive, He makes it possible as we are told in Ephesians 4:32. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.”

Paul explains here what it means for a believer to put on “the new man,” one of the characteristics of new life in Christ. This was originally written to the church that would leave its first love in later years, and Paul may have had a sense that they were headed in that direction as he wrote this letter. That’s why he encouraged Christians in Ephesus to cultivate an attitude that includes kindness and a tender heart which leads to forgiveness. This is far different from the one who says “I can forgive but I can’t forget.” These are all heart issues that go beyond unfelt words.

It’s easy to be kind and tenderhearted toward those who treat us well, but the Holy Spirit makes it possible for Christians to transcend our natural inclinations and apply both to those who treat us badly. We are kind and tenderhearted when we have a spirit of compassion toward the person who has done us harm. It means awareness of another person’s hurts, sufferings and problems. It means that we look at our offender in the light of eternity.

The result of those attitudes is genuine forgiveness. The Christian treats that person as if the wrong had never occurred. How can we adopt these attitudes when they are so unnatural? We go to the cross. We forgive as we have been forgiven. And how have we been forgiven? Let’s think about that for a few minutes.

God has forgiven us without merit on our part. It may be natural to wait until our offender deserves our forgiveness, but that’s not the kind of forgiveness we have received. We were bankrupt and our debt was so great that nothing less than the cross could make restitution. Since God forgave our great debt, Christians are willing to write off the small offenses of others.

We were totally in the wrong and yet God has pardoned us fully. He didn’t forgive what was reasonable and leave us with the remaining guilt. We came to the cross clothed in filthy rags, deserving of death and walked away with the righteousness of Christ, clean and justified before a holy God. In the same way, the Christian forgives offenders completely and without reservation.

God’s forgiveness was costly. There never was a greater injustice than that day when the one Person who had done only good was crucified. Our Creator and Savior who had shown only love was treated with contempt, rejected by His own, mocked, beaten, whipped, nailed to a cross and then died in agony. Forgiveness may cost the Christian a few dollars or a little pride which we can easily spare and we do it for the One who gave everything for us.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, if you are wondering where to go with an offense that seems beyond your ability to forgive I encourage you to bring it to the cross. There you may find that the debt is not so great after all, pardon is not unthinkable and forgiveness is not as costly as it once seemed.